Merry and I have been friends since seminary days. From the first day I met her I was a big fan. She ate artichokes, worked in a community sheltered workshop, and was a woman seminarian. She had spent a college-year studying and traveling in Europe. I wanted to be an assertive, risk-taking woman like she was.

Throughout the years of our friendship, Merry has been a mentor and a role model. She taught me to make barley rieska bread, introduced me to 12-step spirituality, and gave me one of my favorite sayings: “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly.” My default attitude is to never try anything I don’t think I’ll do extremely well. Merry’s adage has given me permission to try things just because they’re interesting, fun, or worthy–not necessarily because I’ll be good at them. She helped to free me from the tyranny of perfectionism.

So Merry, here’s your poor excuse for a birthday card. If you were hoping for something a little more elegant from me, you should have kept your “worth-doing” wisdom to yourself. But then you never would have gotten a card at all. xoxo