I became an Advent person long before I learned the word Advent. Darkness with a glimmer of light is my favorite winter combo. As a kid, I loved to read in the dark by a nightlight or flashlight, or sit in the dark dining room with the lighted candles on the table, or hide in a dark closet with a comforting sliver of light under the door. When the Christmas tree went up with its strings of lights, I spent hours lying under it listening to Christmas carols in the otherwise dark living room. Darkness with a splash of light. It is the Advent message. The darkness can overwhelm, but a teaser of light and God’s promises of salvation and liberation reframe the story of night. There are reasons to fear the dark, but darkness and night are also beautiful and comforting. Cultivating a sense of mystery and awe is an important gift we give children and ourselves.

Here are a few Advent/Winter Solstice suggestions for befriending the night.

• Take a walk outside with children, This year, in the Northern Hemisphere, the sky will be very dark, with barely a sliver of a new moon on the first day of winter, December 21. Bundle up if it’s cold and entice children out of the house with flashlights and a night-focused adventure. Look for planets and stars. Encourage “oohs” and “aahs” at the amazing, maybe even sparkling, sky overhead.

Photo by the Rev. Canon Don Binder, Cathedral of St. George in Jerusalem

• Walk or drive around and look at the Christmas lights. I am often irritated by the appearance of Christmas lights right after Thanksgiving, even Halloween. I want people to prepare slowly for Christmas and luxuriate in the waiting for the birth of Jesus. My rigid attitude changed on December 4, 2020. My brother was in an ICU a thousand miles from where I live. Even though this was during Covid, his family was lucky enough to be in the hospital room with him as he took his last breaths. I went outside in the dark and sat on the hood of our car awaiting the news of his death. I needed the blanket of dark to surround me. Along with the dark, what greeted me through the trees on the street side, was a fabulous array of Christmas lights on almost every house. In the midst of my sadness was this amazing, colorful celebration of life. The lights sparkled in the midst of the darkness and there was joy in the midst of sadness. I was so grateful for the premature Christmas display. My brother would have loved it.
•  Sit together in darkness inside the house. Light the three or four candles on the Advent wreath and challenge children to be completely silent for a minute (or two or three.) Use an old-fashioned egg timer and watch the grains fall in the candlelight. If the kids seem particularly brave, turn out all of the lights and sit together in the darkness.  After the silence, ask a question or two: “What sounds do you hear in the darkness?”  “What do you like about the darkness?” “What can you see?” “Shall we do it again??”
• Talk about what good things happen in the dark: People and animals sleep. Seeds germinate in the dark, damp soil. Bodies heal and recover from illness when they rest and sleep . We can see the vastness of the universe in the stars, moon, and planets.
• Teach a line of Scripture to a child.  Just a few words are enough for small children.
  Even the darkness will not be dark to you; OR The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Psalm 139 NIV
  You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; OR God turns my darkness into light. Psalm 18:28  NIV
• Invite children to create a breath prayer specifically for the Winter Solstice and the last days of Advent. A breath prayer is a short, two-part prayer. One part is a name for God; the second part is a petition or request. Here are some examples: “Loving Jesus, come quickly.”  “God of day and night, take away my fear.” “Holy One, shine in my heart.” Keep the prayer at the tip of your tongue and in the pocket of your heart, so you can say it throughout the day and night. This ancient prayer form is a way to “pray without ceasing.”
• Create a special, quiet corner for a child to experience time alone in the dark. Place a battery-operated candle on a small table with an old-fashioned 3-7 minute egg timer. Invite your child to be quiet for those minutes as they watch the grains of sand fall and mark off the moments of time. Provide some small pieces of paper and colored marker for pencils, if appropriate. Advertise this as a special way to spend time alone. Another way to create the same experience is to give each child a private time by the lighted Christmas tree.