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Archives for December 2014

New Day’s Resolutions for 2015

December 31, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth Leave a Comment

New Year’s resolutions can be daunting. To try to change or add even a single new behavior for a whole year can feel so big, so unmanageable. Maybe the problem is the word “Year.” Instead, what about New Day’s resolutions?

On December 31, instead of writing a list of resolutions for the entire year, start simple. Take a blank calendar for the month of January or even just for the first week. On the evening of December 31, decide what one thing you resolve to do on January 1—just for that one day, just for 24 hours. For example “I will not gossip.” Write the sentence in the box. After you write the words, draw or doodle around them. This gives the eye, the hand, and the mind time to let the idea sink in. As you draw, listen to what the resolution might say to you. Strategize or plan how to make this happen. Pray for the wisdom and strength to follow through. Then sleep on it.

On the night of January 1, reflect on how well you lived out your resolution. If you were successful, be grateful for achieving the 24-hour goal. If not, be compassionate. Apply the message of Ephesians 4:32 to yourself: “Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” (The Message) Now offer yourself another opportunity. Write a resolution for January 2 on your calendar. Maybe it will be the same resolution as the day before. Maybe it will be a different one. Or maybe it will combine the first resolution with a new one. Use a calendar template until the new behavior becomes part of your daily practice–even if it takes a whole year.

Many spiritual traditions emphasize the partnership between contemplation and action: writing, doodling, and praying the night before are the contemplation; living out the resolution is the action.

New Day's Resolutions Resized

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Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: Ephesians 4:32, Just for Today, New Day's Resolutions, New Year's Resolutions

Poinsettia Prayers

December 30, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth Leave a Comment

Even in the midst of Christmas celebration, there are people in trouble or deep sorrow. May God’s Peace be with them and their families.

Poinsettia Prayers resized

After reading Tomie dePaola’s The Legend of the Poinsettia last night, I used the poinsettia as a framework for the prayer. This book is a lovely read-aloud and look-at story.

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Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: poinsettia, Praying in Color, The Legend of the Poinsettia

Finished Advent Calendars

December 29, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth 5 Comments Leave a Comment

Here are six finished Advent calendars from five different people. Thanks to the four people who shared their calendars with me. Of course, I would love to see others.

This first two are from friends Cindy O and Connie D. Cindy used phrases and words associated with Advent. Check out her websites Mostly Markers and Mostly Markers–Cards. Based on a book by Sarah Hornsby called Jesus Be in My Christmas: Morning and Evening Meditations for Every Day of Advent. Connie’s words on the tree calendar complete the sentence “Jesus be in my ______.” Connie’s blog is called Vintage Grace.

Advent Calendar Finished Cindy Connie Resized Collage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next pair is from Linda S. and her daughter. “My adult daughter and I worked individually on both sheets, alternating days, to create a shared positive focus for family and friends and their particular situations.”

Advent Calendar Finished Linda S Collage Resized

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The last two are mine. On the tree I prayed for people. On the box calendar I meditated on the words from Scripture associated with Advent. I love to refer to my calendar during Christmas. Each day reminds me of who or what I was thinking and praying about.

Advent Calendar Finished Sybil Collage Resized

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Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: Advent, Advent calendar, Mostly Markers, Praying in Color, Vintage Grace Blog

Celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas

December 26, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth Leave a Comment

Violating my own Suggestion Restriction pact with myself, here is a  Suggestion: Celebrate Christmas for the full 12 Days. If you are a family of many or only one, plan some intentional special activity each day. Mark it on the calendar. The activity does not have to be elaborate, just something to honor the Christmas holiday, even if you are back to a regular work schedule.  If you have children, do something simple together as a family each day: make popcorn, sing Christmas carols, sit around the Christmas tree and choose a favorite ornament, play a game, talk about where to send end-of-the-year giving, take a walk, go to the zoo,….

My husband and I no longer have children at home, so it takes some nudging to give ourselves permission to schedule playtime/celebratory time together. Here are our first three days. We actually did take a walk on Christmas morning in the snow. It was 15º, invigorating, and beautiful. Tomorrow we will spend hours at the airport and on a plane. It would be easy for us to get absorbed in our own work distractions, but we plan to tackle a NYTimes crossword puzzle together. We will also fill in a few more days on our calendar.

Twelve Days of Christmas--First Three Lighter

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Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: Twelve Days of Christmas

*Merry Christmas*

December 25, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth 1 Comment Leave a Comment

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6 NIV)Crhstimas Tree Card Joy 2014 resized

 

Or in Eugene Peterson’s The Message version:
“For a child has been born – for us! the gift of a son – for us! He’ll take over the running of the world. His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness.”

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Filed Under: Praying in Color

Style (or Mother-Daughter Disconnect)

December 23, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth 2 Comments Leave a Comment

I wrote this post five years ago today for the Purpose Driven Connection. If my mother were alive today she would be 101. 

Style

I’ve done some cooking for groups this week–an intimate meal of stew for six last Friday and a staff party of chicken lasagna for twenty-two yesterday. Both preparations involved lots of chopping, browning, and assembling. Between crashing around in a warm kitchen with pots and knives and listening to Christmas music on the radio, I like this sort of feast-making in December. It makes me feel like I’m creating my own version of a Norman Rockwell winter. It also puts me in touch with Christmases past–real and imagined.

Yesterday, I had a huge epiphany. I have always thought I had a better handle on cooking for crowds than my mother did.  She worried about the details–whether the napkins were ironed, the kitchen door was closed so guests could not see the messy preparation, the salads were meticulously arranged on her best china plates,….

I brag that “She entertained, but I have people over.” I confess to feeling superior. My laid-back version of cooking and having friends hang out in the kitchen feels more authentic than her formal, showy dinner parties. But what struck me yesterday was that although I didn’t catch on to her fancy, sometimes frazzled way of entertaining, she taught me about hospitality. A rare weekend went by without people in my parents’ house for dinner or games. My mothers’ friends were important to her and she wanted to honor them and make them feel comfortable in her home.

For years I’ve thought my mother and I were from different planets. We disagreed about lots of things. But the Christmas gift I received this week is a deep, almost pregnant knowing that the most important things in my life (and hers) were given to me by my mother–dance, art, hospitality, home, and a relationship with God. Why we always clashed in those areas was strictly a difference in style. We loved the same things but expressed our love differently. We were just from different neighborhoods, not different planets.

I want to rush to the phone and tell her what I learned this week, to thank her for those gifts, and maybe even talk, instead of argue, about our different styles of drawing, feeding friends, and worshiping God. The phone call is not possible. But I think as she celebrates the birth of Jesus from her heavenly vantage point, she knows and smiles about my Christmas epiphany.

Dinner Plate Collage Resized

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Filed Under: Praying in Color

Suggestion Restriction

December 22, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth 1 Comment Leave a Comment

With a household of visiting and resident grown sons, a granddaughter, and a couple of adult girlfriends, the temptation to make random comments on everyone’s life and behavior is seductive. “Why don’t you take Clara to the zoo?” Why does she always wear pink?” “I don’t like your new hairstyle.” “Maybe you should try a new career.” I have not said these things, but they are similar to the ones inside my head and the ones too frequently on my tongue. Because I see some of my family members only a few times a year, it is tempting to dump all of my unsolicited opinions and suggestions on them when they visit. Those suggestions and comments are a great way to ruin a holiday and create ill-will.

My friend Susan Peterson has come up with a self-imposed curfew for the temptation to give advice. She calls it “24-Hour Suggestion Restriction.” For a whole day she will not make suggestions to her family and friends. This includes everything: no back-seat driving, no fashion hints, no ways to improve your life, no “Why don’t you_____.”  I’ve tried it. Keeping my mouth shut about another person’s behavior or life for a whole day is no easy feat. I become aware of how often I put in my two cents. Unsolicited suggestions often give the message, “You’re not capable of taking care of yourself, dummy.” What makes me even think I know what is right for their lives?

Suggestion Restriction has been a huge gift of restraint for me. When I put myself on 24-hours of SR and curtail my comments and advice, I notice how free I feel and how much fun I have. My adult children are instantaneously mature and interesting without my coaching. When I treat them with the dignity I offer strangers and listen to their stories as if meeting them for the first time, I realize I am lucky to know them. They are doing just fine without my interference. Suggestion Restriction creates good boundaries for where I stop and another person begins. When I manage to keep my suggestions to myself for hours or even many 24-hours at a time, I notice I am no longer even thinking in the language of suggestions. This is real freedom for them and for me.

If I am tempted to hand out blueprints or itineraries for my children’s lives , especially at Christmas time or other family gatherings, it’s a great opportunity for me to shut up and pray. And “pray” doesn’t mean giving God a list of suggestions about how to fix and control others. If I put myself on “24-Hour Suggestion Restriction” with God, I am much for likely to be quiet and to know my loved ones have a power far greater than me to direct them.

SJ Suggestion Restriction

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note: Adaptation of a May 18th, 2009 post on the Purpose Driven Connection

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Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: Adult children/Parent Realtionships, minding my own business, suggestion restriction

Last Sunday of Advent

December 21, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth 2 Comments Leave a Comment

The weeks of Advent are far-spent, only four more days until Christmas. I have loved this Advent as I usually do, but it also has been too short. There are three meditation books I would still like to read and I have squandered my sitting-still/prayer time. But the days roll on and prepared or not, Christmas comes. More of signs of it are visible in my house than last week.

  • The Advent calendars are almost complete.
  • The fourth candle on the Advent wreath is lit today.
  • .Mary and Joseph are within eyeshot of the manger on the mantel.
  • The Paperwhite narcissus are in full bloom.
  • The Christmas tree is decorated and a few gifts have made their way under it.
  • The lectionary readings begin to tell the Nativity story in Luke 1 with Gabriel’s appearance to Mary and Mary’s response: “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.”

Advent 4 collage resized

Psalm 89: 1-4 (NRSV)– one of the other lectionary readings
1 “I will sing of your steadfast love, O LORD, forever; with my mouth I will proclaim your faithfulness to all generations.
2 I declare that your steadfast love is established forever; your faithfulness is as firm as the heavens.
3 You said, “I have made a covenant with my chosen one, I have sworn to my servant David:
4 “I will establish your descendants forever, and build your throne for all generations.'”

 

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Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: Advent calendar, Advent Four, Advent Wreath, Psalm 89

Real Books

December 19, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth 2 Comments Leave a Comment

In early January my husband and I will “move” to Colorado. He will be interim pastor at an Episcopal church for about a year. The church will provide furnished housing, so we will take only clothes, a milk foamer, my big coffee mug, and some of our favorite books. When I queried my Facebook friends about which 40 books I should take, almost everyone said, “Just take a Kindle.” My husband has a Kindle and I have the App on my phone. I admit it’s a great way to travel light.

But what about the sensual pleasures of a 3-D pulp and paper book? When I read my digital books I miss the smell of paper, the noise of turning pages, and the smooth or nubby texture between my fingers. A hard copy book has heft. I mark my place in the reading of a book by the thickness of the lefthand side. And I have a visual comprehension of text and content by its location on a left or righthand page. The physicality of a paper book is part of the reading enjoyment and learning experience for me. Three dimensional books are almost as comforting as stuffed animals; I haven’t yet figured out a way to snuggle up with an aluminum book, one that will be destroyed if I spill even a little coffee on it. (I know the latter part from experience and an $800 repair bill.)

I think I will reduce the number of candidates for the FedEx box to twenty, but how can I leave home without my tattered copy of Frederick Buechner’s Wishful Thinking or the torn pages with underlinings and food smudges of my 1977 edition of The Irrational Season by Madeleine L’Engle or my just-purchased Wide-Margin Bible with its fake leather cover and new plastic smell, or at least ten other books with their sensory and visual connections to my spiritual formation. What I like about these “real” books is their earthiness and their substance. Just like the first Nativity with its dirt and barnyard odors, my “flesh and blood” books are grimy and messy. They are witness to repeated human encounter, aging and worn. Unlike their untouchable, sanitized digital cousins, they are an apt symbol for the Incarnation.

 

P.S. Speaking of books , if you a re looking for a last minute Christmas present for frustrated or bored pray-ers, try the Active Prayer Series from Paraclete. Right now there are four books to choose from, each with its unique physical/visual focus–drawing, moving, creating, and writing. Some are 40% off until tonight, with free shipping over $50.

Active Prayer Series collage 2 resized

Writing to God (2) resized

 

 

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Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: Active Prayer Series, books, digital books, Incarnation, Kindle, Paracelte Press

Advent is Scary for Me and the Virgin Mary

December 17, 2014 by Sybil Macbeth Leave a Comment

Thanks to friend and performance artist Sharon Pavelda for letting me share her Advent poem.

Advent is Scary for Me and the Virgin Mary

Silent night, holy night,
Christmas Cards make it look “just right:”
Calm Madonna, sleeping child,
Even the animals are reverent, mild.

Yet during this Advent, grief lies deep
As world-wide violence makes me weep.
Unjust verdicts, consumer greed,
Corrupted governments that ignore real needs.

We try to make peaceMary and Joseph Enroute
with bright lights, plastic holly,
While our marketplace screams
“Go faster! Be jolly!”

Oh Calm, Serene, Unfrazzled Mary,
Weren’t your days unsettled, scary?
Occupied country, tax demands,
Hard pregnant ride through dangerous lands.

Did you feel fear? Weren’t you weary?
The shelter you found, was it drafty? Was it dreary?
The angel said God’s Child you’d see
But childbirth never comes pain-free.

Yet centuries later, Botticelli paints
and forgets to draw the sweat on saints.
It’s scenes of posed peace and perfection we see,
Yet my reality is what transforms me.

For Christ was born a tender human
In the midst of killing strife
And is being born each day
In this heartbreaking, turbulent life.

Christ’s the giver of a peace
That even death cannot bury!
It’s my miracle now
As it was for you, Mary.

Sharon Pavelda            
Copyright © 2014

Photo: Mary and Joseph stop at a rest oasis on the journey to mantel manger.

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Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: Advent, Advent poem, Sharon Pavelda

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