My prayer-stamp drawing exercise has been erratic. Instead of a stamp or two a day, it has been more like four stamps one day, no stamps for five days. So much for daily discipline. A daily discipline is supposed to help me with my binge-purge mentality about life. I can be so excited and grateful one day, so grumpy and despairing the next; so energetic and active one day, so lethargic the next. I want to cultivate a “This is the day the Lord has made” mentality, rather than a “perfect/imperfect” consumer evaluation of each day.
When I was a kid, I practiced radical perfectionism. For all of my elementary school years, my teachers never received a paper from me with an erasure. I wrote and rewrote my homework assignments until there there was not one corrected word or problem—no smudges, no smears, no imperfection.
I’ve made some progress in this area. So I refuse to chastise myself for an imperfect Lent. I can restart the daily discipline effort at any time. And when I fail again, I will know that this has been a successful Lent. Lent is not about what I can do, but about what God does. A stamp a day will not keep imperfection away. I will try to remember the whole point of this season—my need and gratitude for a savior. John Michael Talbot‘s* version of Psalm 62 sings it so well for me: ” Only in God is my soul at rest, from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock, my strength, and my salvation.”
*John Michael Talbot,Psalm 62, Come to the Quiet, 1980
Sybil MacBeth ©2010
Perfect or imperfect, I love my stamp. And I do need the prayers…in color or black and white. The dying, death, funeral, celebration were well taken..all friends from all walks of life appeared at the “die party” EWK’s word!! But the dismantling caught me off guard..brother and sister in law suggesting that I had all her flat silver, china, jewelry..almost had a sink..but recovered and I know it is your stamp praying that is giving me the grace to love, forgive and have faith…all the Jesus things came into play..Keep up the great work and don’t be so hard on yourself…I think you are a perfect friend and so does God. Blair