Praying in Color

  • Home
  • Sybil MacBeth
  • Books & DVDs
    • Books & DVDs
    • Praying in Color
    • The Season of the Nativity
    • Pray and Color
  • Workshops / Events
  • Examples
  • Handouts
  • Contact
  • Blog
Mobile Nav MenuLogo

States of Mind and Heart

July 11, 2016 by Sybil Macbeth 4 Comments Leave a Comment

My states of mind and heart about our country have flip-flopped all over the place in the past few weeks. The map below is an outpouring of words describing the states I have entered. Many of the words are negative and despairing; but poking through are positive words of hope and joy. I am not a proponent of the adage: “You can have either faith or fear, but not both.” Conflicting words like fear & trust and joy & sorrow live in my mind, heart, and body all at the same time. I can straddle several states in just a matter of minutes.

States of Mind and Heart

Drawing this map was both a cathartic purge and a blessing prayer.* I am so weary of words and opinions and judgments—even ones I agree with, even my own. I am so quick to form a response to whatever I hear based on some knee-jerk outrage or some closely-held belief. Words can be helpful, encouraging, and transforming but they can also be a form of assault and violence. If my words do not agree with yours, we can immediately be at an internal or external verbal war, judging the intelligence and character of the other person.

I look at my own categorizing and am appalled. I grew up as a Christian Scientist. Christian Science taught me that everyone is created in “the image and likeness of God.” (Genesis 1:26) When I came home from elementary school and said something like, “I hate Susie”  Or “Bob is a big liar,” my mother would say, “You know, Sybil, you need to fix your thinking. Susie is a perfect child of God and you need to see her as that.” Then we would pray. What would happen when I changed my assessment of the person from a liar to a child of God was nothing short of a miracle. I’m not sure whether the person changed or I changed. But the atmosphere changed. Maybe the atoms of the universe surrounding us changed by my moment of loving. God was clearly present however that happened.

I notice how infrequently I now start with the “child of God” premise especially when I read the news or consider the political arena. I am much more likely to start with judgment and criticism. Frankly, it’s eroding my soul. The violence I condemn becomes part of my psyche.

I would like to say that from now on I will always start with seeing others as children of God, that I will never be “the first to throw a stone,” but that is not true. My plan is much smaller. For the next hour anytime I hear or read something that oversimplifies the state of our country or that lures me to some sort of get-on-the-bandwagon or blow-it-apart response, I’m going to try to just listen. I will invite the polarizing rhetoric inside of me to be still. I will recite “image of God, image of God…” as many times as needed, then wait on some “Good Orderly Direction.”** I will try this one hour at a time and be grateful for any minutes of success. I want to do this, not just because it feels like a holy or righteous thing, but because my heartsick soul feels like it is in jeopardy. I do not want “to become what I hate.” I know I cannot do this alone. I need accountability to other people in my life and to God.

*The blessing prayer on the outside of the map is a format I use frequently. It is adapted from an ancient Celtic prayer.
**Good Orderly Direction = GOD

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Tweet
  • More

Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: Good Orderly Direction, opinions, Praying in Color, United States, violence

Opinions

November 12, 2012 by Sybil Macbeth 4 Comments Leave a Comment

I have an opinion. Here it is: I have way too many opinions.

My ability to formulate an opinion about anything or anyone in ten seconds or less is embarrassing. It’s not just embarrassing; it’s soul-crushing. Let’s see.”The woman in the line ahead of me at the Target checkout is way too old to wear her hair in ponytails. The guy behind me needs to leave at least a square inch of his body tattoo-free. The young woman making seductive eye movements at the tattoo dude is drop-dead gorgeous. Governor Romney is this. President Obama is that. This newspaper is useless. My husband looks more youthful than I do. Blah, blah, blah…ad infinitum.” I can’t hear myself think. But wait, that IS my thinking! I’m thinking in opinions.

Somewhere along the way I learned that having an opinion means you are smart. And having negative opinions means you are really smart and funny and maybe even cute. Trashing a restaurant, a book or another person’s political stance seems way more clever than trying to articulate the positive. But even a positive opinion takes an ironic toll on me. All of my opinions draw lines in the sand and toss everything into tidy, manageable categories.

Constantly creating opinions keeps me from letting new information into my consciousness and my senses–visual, aural, oral, kinesthetic. It narrows my world view and makes me think I’m smart, righteous and in control. Mostly my opinions just bore me and make me cranky. So I’ve started a new practice of withholding my opinion–even from myself.  I want to receive what I see, hear, taste, and feel without judging or categorizing it. I want to stay curious and expectant. When I actually manage to do this, I can look at the very large woman in the bright yellow polka-dotted mini-skirt and red Doc Martens and just let my eyes delight in her unique sartorial expression. I can hear peoples’ pronouncements on healthcare without preparing a rebuttal. I can eat new foods and savor their flavor without a quick thumbs up or thumbs down. My heart feels a sense of relief and gratitude with this new freedom.

“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.” (Proverbs 18:2 NIV)  I’m tired of being a fool and I want to be more than just the sum of my opinions.

Share this:

  • Email
  • Print
  • Tweet
  • More

Filed Under: Praying in Color Tagged With: a fool, opinions, Proverbs 18:2

FIND ME ON
Find Me on Facebook
  • Home
  • Praying in Color
  • Sybil & Andy MacBeth
  • Books & DVDs
  • The Season of the Nativity
  • Pray and Color
  • Workshops / Events
  • Handouts
  • Examples
  • Contact
  • Blog
© 2016 Sybil MacBeth. All Rights Reserved. Website by Paraclete Web Design.
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.