My prayer-stamp drawing exercise has been erratic. Instead of a stamp or two a day, it has been more like four stamps one day, no stamps for five days. So much for daily discipline. A daily discipline is supposed to help me with my binge-purge mentality about life. I can be so excited and grateful one day, so grumpy and despairing the next; so energetic and active one day, so lethargic the next. I want to cultivate a “This is the day the Lord has made” mentality, rather than a “perfect/imperfect” consumer evaluation of each day.
When I was a kid, I practiced radical perfectionism. For all of my elementary school years, my teachers never received a paper from me with an erasure. I wrote and rewrote my homework assignments until there there was not one corrected word or problem—no smudges, no smears, no imperfection.
I’ve made some progress in this area. So I refuse to chastise myself for an imperfect Lent. I can restart the daily discipline effort at any time. And when I fail again, I will know that this has been a successful Lent. Lent is not about what I can do, but about what God does. A stamp a day will not keep imperfection away. I will try to remember the whole point of this season—my need and gratitude for a savior. John Michael Talbot‘s* version of Psalm 62 sings it so well for me: ” Only in God is my soul at rest, from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock, my strength, and my salvation.”
*John Michael Talbot,Psalm 62, Come to the Quiet, 1980
Sybil MacBeth ©2010